shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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