Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
