I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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