after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
