i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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