one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
