Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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