Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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