We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i think my tv is drunk
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
