If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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