My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
