can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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