it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
