lets start a swedish sibling band together
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
