were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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