Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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