I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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