She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
