# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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