Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
