he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
