I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
