lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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