Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
