I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
