Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
