Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
