you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
