I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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