We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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