are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
