Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
