is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
