Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
