I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
