i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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