you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
