I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
thus making me awesome and them whores
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
