Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
