we're blogging at a bar
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize