Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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