You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
