its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
