Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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