Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
