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I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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