dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
