she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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