JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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