I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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