I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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